Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
