i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
