All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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