We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
