I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
