I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
