I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
