Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
