I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
