So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
