Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
