Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
