it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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