There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
