Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
