His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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