I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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