so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I need moral support for this bender
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
