Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
