you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Are my feet made of real feet?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
