I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
