I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
