just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
