I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
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