this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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