Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
