He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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