So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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