You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize