I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
