Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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