Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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