I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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