why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
this will be a night to untag.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
