He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
