We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
