im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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