I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
