we're blogging at a bar
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
