Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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