you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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