Christians are straight up FREAKS
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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