I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
