Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry kmarie32691 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(251): View more from Alabama

My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.

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(225): View more from Louisiana

at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me

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(619): View more from California

I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.

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(719): View more from Colorado

there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I hugged the bouncer as we left.

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(208): View more from Idaho

Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus

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(440): View more from Ohio

See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage

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(+33): View more from France

Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!

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