making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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