Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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