i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
