my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
How's work?
Spinning.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
