she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think i peed on brittanys purse
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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