We're like a lot better than the average bears
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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