I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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