Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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