i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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