did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
