everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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