Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
