just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
