Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
