woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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