I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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