just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
